Our Youthful Hair, Definitely Worth A Death Glare
by JadeSyan
Summary: The Rookie 9 plus Kakashi and Gai must wash their hair in a public toilet. CRACK! Now betaread and reposted!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay, this is my very first try at a Naruto story and at a crack fic but criticism is welcome. **

**To the story: It's strange but I mostly have ideas for my stories when I'm in the bathroom or lying in bed. o.O**

**I wanna thank Winter-Rae so much, she read the story and added a few changes to it. I couldn't write this story without her!!! P.S. Read her stories, I love them!! ;-)**

**I hope you have fun reading it. And don't ask me how I came up with this title, I don't know it either. I actually wanted to name it: "How troublesome...our youthful hair...definitely worth a death glare. **

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Gai was excited. Why you ask, well he had been sent on a mission with not only his rival Kakashi and their teams but with all of the Rookie 9! 

Asuma, who was also to accompany them, had gone on a mission of personal sorts. You see the cigarette prices had gone up so he was flying to Europe because they were much cheaper there. Then he would try and smuggle them into Japan for his own use.

Now back to our other group. They were walking through a little village when Sakura spotted a public toilet.

"Do you see what I see?" she asked the others pointing.

"Yeah! Eww! That's so disgusting, it's always smelly in those things," Gai said and hid his sight with his eyebrows. Something he had been practising and was getting pretty good at it.

"Yeah maybe," she agreed, "but we all need to wash our hair. I mean, I haven't washed mine for about two weeks."

"And what's wrong with that?" Naruto asked while eating Ramen.

"Dude where are you getting all this Ramen from?" Kiba asked him in an astonished tone with a raised eyebrow.

"It's all here in my backpack," Naruto replied as he opened it to prove it.

"Don't you have anything else in that backpack of yours?" Tenten asked sarcastically.

"No," Naruto replied with a grin.

"WHAT?" she cried in disgust, "You mean to tell me that you're wearing the same underwear since this mission started, it's been three weeks!"

Naruto nodded as he shoved more Ramen into his mouth. He obviously didn't place much on personal hygiene.

"Okay," Tenten said covering her mouth with her hand, "Get me into that public toilet. I need to throw up, like now!"

* * *

Ten minutes later; as Gai had broken his nose by running into a wall. It seems he had forgotten to stop his eyebrows from blocking his vision, everybody was in the toilet. 

Sakura was already busy washing her hair, happy to be doing so, when suddenly the door opened and Itachi and Kisame entered the room. Everyone exchanged looks and then the eyes landed on Sasuke.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan and went to attack Itachi. But Itachi held up his hand stopping him in his tracks.

"Not now foolish little brother," he said in his emotionless tone, "I need to wash my hair before we get down to business. I slept on Kisame's chewing gum and now I can't get it out of my hair."

"Hey!" Kisame snapped, "Don't look so reproachful at me. I extra set up a shield that said 'Caution! Used chewing gum'."

"Couldn't you just throw it away?" Itachi grumbled.

"Why should I throw it away?" Kisae asked irritated, "I've been chewing on that piece for two years?"

"Wait a minute!" Itachi said, "You mean to tell me you have been chewing on that gum for two years?! Is that why you've been throwing kunai at me the whole way here..."

He paused then continued.

"Kisame, you know, that the chewing gum will be destroyed when I have washed it out, right?"

At this Kisame broke down and began sobbing: "No! NO! Not again! I can't go through this again!"

Itachi looked oddly at him: "Is losing chewing gum a tramatic occurance where you are from? Or is it just not the first time this has happened?"

Kisame sniffed.

"I had another piece once," he said, "We were together for five years when I accidentally swallowed it while I was sleeping."

Kisame showed Itachi a photo where he was unwrapping the chewing gum.

"Our first date," Kisame said proudly and smiled at one of the best memories of his life.

After they had spoken a prayer for Kisame's chewing gum some of the others began washing their hair. Soon the smell of flowers and fruits filled the public toliet.

Itachi, however had used so much shampoo that there was none left for Kisame.

He turned towards Kakashi.

"Hey Kakashi! Can you lend me your shampoo please?"

"Yeah sure!" he answered tossing him the bottle, "I don't need it anyway. I don't have time to wash my hair right now. I have to finish this chapter of Icha Icha Paradise. It's Halloween and Tesara is wearing this hot housemaid outfit and now she is alone in a room with Kasuro and..."

Gai interrupted his enthusiastically rambling.

"Aaaah! My youthful ears!!"

Kiba, who was making pin curlers in his hair at the moment asked:

"Gai! Don't you want to wash your hair too?"

"Ahm...no...no...I...I...have already washed it yesterday."

"That's wrong," Ino said joining the conversation, "If you're going to lie, then do it at least convincingly."

"Come on, you need to wash your hair. I just seen a cootie in it."

"No!" Gai screamed desperately and tried to flee out of the toilet.

Ino pulled him back by his hair and suddenly held it in her hand.

Shikamaru as usual couldn't say anything else than "How troublesome"

Everyone in the room stared at the wig in Ino's hand. Even Kakashi averted his gaze from his book.

Gai jerked the wig out of Ino's hand and put it back on his head, backwards.

Rock-Lee finally found his voice again:

"Oh my god!! Gai-Sensei! How did this happen?"

Gai began to sob.

"Lee, it was horrible," he wailed, "I wouldn't wish this even on my worst enemy. You see I bought the wrong cat food for my Minny, it was a special offer. She became enraged and attacked me and pulled out all my hair. Now you know it...my biggest secret...this is how I lost my youthful hair."

During his talking tears welled up in his eyes.

Lee placed a comforting hand on his shoulder:

"Oh Gai-Sensei."

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei."

"Lee."

While they hugged a sun and a rainbow appeared behind them in the middle of the room.

Sakura took advantage of it and asked them:

"Hey, could you two please stay like this for a bit," she asked them, "I haven't gotten to sunbathe this summer yet."

She pulled out a pair of sunglasses and a Sex On The Beach of her backpack then lay down on the floor.

Kiba was busy making pink highlights and applying a perm to Akamaru when Itachi suddenly screamed.

Sasuke looked questioningly at him, screamed too and hid behind Naruto.

"Nii-san...you-you...have curls," he exclaimed.

"This damn shampoo!!" Itachi roared, "According to the advertisement, I quote: 'After using guaranteed one week straight hair!!"

"Baka!!" Kisame barked, "One week straight hair if you don't wash it during this time!"

"But that wasn't stated on the bottle!"

And it was again time for Shikamaru... "How troublesome."

Itachi ignored him and screamed:

"Kisame, give me my straightening iron!!"

Kisame gulped.

"Itachi...I have to tell you something..."

TO BE CONTINUED

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**AN: Well that was the first chapter. There will be another one and an epilogue. Please leave a review! Andi**


	2. Chapter 2

**Previously:**

**Kisame gulped.**

"**Itachi, I have to tell you something..."**

"...your straigtening iron...it's broken...I'm so sorry."

Kisame cowered in the corner as Itachi's Sharingan activated.

"How the hell did it break?" he demanded, "Tell me before I Sharingan your ass!"

He grabbed Kisame by the throat and shook him. Kisame quickly covered his eyes with his hands so as not to be subjected to being dangled over a frying pan for 72 hours, again. Then he slowly answered Itachi's question.

"I wanted to make myself some toast with it..."

"No!!"

Itachi released Kisame and fell to his knees.

"NO!," he wailed in misery, "My life has no sense whatsoever anymore! Sasuke, kill me, KILL ME!!"

Sasuke, who was looking in the mirror, glanced at him.

"Can't," he said, "I'm practising."

Shino looked at him oddly.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm practising for the Death Glare World Championships."

"How troublesome," Neji and Shikamaru said at the same time while Lee raised his eyebrows.

The doop opened and a janitor entered the room.

"Damn, I really need to repair the air conditioner in here. This can't go on like this...always hair gets gravitated by it."

Time seemed to stand still when Lee touched his face and suddenly had his eyebrows in his hand.

"NO!! WHY? MY YOUTHFUL EYEBROWS!!" he screamed and punched the floor like a little kid. Gai crouched down next to him and patted his back in a comforting manner.

"Calm down Lee!" he said, "Here, I actually wanted to give them to you on your birthday but now is as good a time as any!"

Lee stopped his punching and looked at the bunch of hair in Gai's hand.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Your backup eyebrows of course!" Gai said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "And guess what! They glow in the dark!"

And as if to prove it he turned off the lights and a mirror ball came down from the ceiling. Abba's 'Dancing Queen' began to play. Gai made the moonwalk but Lee paid no attention to it. He just stared at the eyebrows in his hands as they glowed neon green in the dark room. His face lit up as he exclaimed excitedly:

"Gai-Sensei."

"You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen...What? Oh...Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

They both hugged while Shikamaru was fighting with Neji, because this one had said, "How troublesome."

"That's my slogan!" the shadow user cried out pulling Neji's hair.

"How can you say that?," Neji replied trying to smack his hands away, "Everybody has the right to say what they want to say!"

"No they don't!"

"Yes, they do!"

"No they don't infinity!"

"Yes they do infinity plus one!!"

"No they don't infinity plus two!" Shikarau replied, "Ha I win!"

"Damn," Neji muttered.

"Besides," Shikamaru went on, "I specially applied a patent for it."

"How can somebody apply a patent for such an idiotic slogan?" Neji snapped, still upset theat Shikamaru had bet him.

"Idiotic slogan?" Shikamaru cried out, sounding generaly insulted, "The slogan is great! In a few weeks everyone will have it printed on their T-Shirts, you'll see. You know what, let's step outside shall we?"

"Oh we shall!"

"Hey Kisame!" Naruto said when Neji and Shikamaru left the room, "Why are you wearing that towel on your head instead of combing your hair, is this so it drys?"

"No!" Kisame replied with a grin, "This gives such a cool look, the mermaids are crazy about it."

A timer dinged.

"Well it's time to remove the towel," he said. Everything seemed to go in slow motion when Kisame took of the towel.

"Could you hurry up Kisame, the new Icha Icha Paradise is coming out in two hours," Kakashi pressed him.

"Ok, I just wanted to make it more exciting."

He took down the towel and looked hopefully at the others.

"Doesn't this look phat?"

The room was filled with silence except for drum roll.

"Kakashi, stop it!" Gai said.

Disappointed Kakashi lay the drum sticks aside.

"I just wanted to make it more exciting." he sulked.

The two turned their attention back to Kisame with his newest hair color, grey.

"Ahm Kisame, turn around" Itachi said carefully.

Kisame turned around slowly and shrinked away when he saw his reflection in the mirror.

"Grandma, what are you doing here?"

"That's you Kisame..."

"What? Why do I have grey hair? I'm only thirty"

"I think you mistaked the shampoo with my hair tinting lotion" Kakashi meant and blushed.

"Why are you dyeing your hair grey? Why do you give your youth up? WHY?" Gai cried shaking his eternal rival.

"I get a senior discount on the bus plus I wanted to cover my real hair color."

"What is your real hair color Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked curious.

"I'm not telling!" Kakashi replied stubborn.

"Hey is that a red hair line?" Shino asked with wide eyes.

"What? WHAT? Oh my god!" Kakashi screamed and darted to the mirrow.

"Give me the lotion! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!" Kakashi yelled snatching it away from a surprised Kisame. He desperately began to wash his hair.

"Okay, this is even too crazy for me," Naruto said, "I'm going home"

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**AN: Well that was the second chapter. And please, I'm begging you, LEAVE A REVIEW. It's really important to me. I have planned to write some other crack fics and need to know if I'm good at them. Epilogue should be up in a week or something. Andi**


	3. Chapter 3

**1 month later:**

Kiba and Tenten opened up a dog parlour.

Naruto is the new face of Ichiraku's ramen advertising.

Neji and Shikamaru have earned millions with "How Troublesome." Their next idea is to come out with action figures. It will be of the two of them which argue about who came up with the idea for the t-shirts.

Asuma got arrested when he tried to smuggle 50 packs of cigarettes in his hand luggage to Japan.

Chouji choked on one of his chips. Since then Salt and Vinegar chips have been taken off the shelves.

Gai and Rock Lee brought out a hair restorer ("Come Back My Youthful Hair") and became rich.

Sakura burst in flames when she overdid it with sunbathing. She was hardly missed. Except by Naruto, but he used the sexy sad face he learned in grieving for her to help his commercial career.

Itachi is conducting a lawsuit at the moment because of "insufficient warning on shampoo bottles." He bought a new straightening iron which he never lets Kisame touch.

Kisame is currently inventing a new flavour of chewing gum, fish.

Sasuke has won the Death Glare World Championships and appears on the cover of the newest edition of Emo!Kid magazine. But after he was caught smiling he was stripped of the champion ship title as he no longer fulfilled the requirements of Death Glare Champion.

Shino has brought out a new collection of sunglasses: "Shino & Gabbana."

Kakashi got burned at the stake when Tsunade discovered his red hair line.

And Hinata and Ino? Those two were arguing about:

who leaves a review or

who turns off his computer, shakes his head and asks himself what has become of this world.

That's for you to decide and for me…well…to wait for the decision.

Over and out

Wait!

I forgot the author's note…

**AN: I want to thank everyone who read this story.**

**A special thanks goes to Winter-Rae for beta-reading the story and adding a few changes to it, that made it even better. Thanks hon!**

**And finally thanks to everyone who reviewed, you encouraged me in continuing this story.**

**Love, Andi.**


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